Friday, June 3, 2011

Boyfriends - Nick's Necklace

Nick bought me a necklace when we were in St. George over Valentines Day. It was the outline of a heart, with a cubic zirconium dangling in the center. I wore it every day. Then one day, the dangling section just disappeared. Nick was kind of mad at me, as if I had lost it on purpose. I still wore the heart, but it really bugged him that part of it was missing.

So when I went off to college at Utah State, Nick gave me a replacement necklace. Another heart, this time a locket. Despite my best efforts, I would often forget to take it off at night. For awhile it got lost in the sheets of my bed, and I felt horrible. I knew how much it meant to Nick that I wore his necklace. He wasn't super understanding when I told him I'd lost it. (My forgetfulness/irresponsibility is probably something he'd never have gotten used to about me.) 

I was so thrilled when I finally found the necklace, and of course, I resumed wearing it every day. Thus, I was wearing it on January 28th when my roommate's boyfriend and his friend came over to hang out at our apartment.

The friend (maybe named Cody - yeah, let's go with that) and I hit it off. We quickly established a rhythm of playful banter, and being the attention-lover I am, I definitely encouraged him. We all went ice-blocking down a hill on campus, and then we wrested a bit. Cody, a football player, pinned me to the ground, and I had one of my famous freak-outs. That led to more serious conversation, and Cody and I ended up talking in the living room of my apartment well into the night.

It wasn't until the next morning that I realized my necklace had broken sometime during the night, presumably when I'd been wrestling with Cody.

I drove home the next day so I could be home for the weekend. I wanted to talk to Nick and sort through my feelings about flirting with Cody, and somehow that discussion ended up in us breaking up. I never told him about the broken necklace, but I've always kind of seen it as a kind of a symbol of our bond breaking. Maybe even as a symbol of our whole relationship: me trying to hold on to something and to be something that just wasn't right for me.

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